What if you exposed every detail about yourself? The private knowledge you conceal and protect like an endangered obscure owl variety no one talks about anymore. Things you’ve done that you wish you hadn’t. The ones everyone agrees shouldn’t have been done and that’s why you make sure they don’t find out. The ones that make you shake your head to yourself when you think of them. They prompt you to conjure some excuse for what you were thinking about when the people with you notice and ask you what you’re shaking your head for. The silly thoughts. The times you were wrong but no one caught on and you made sure they wouldn’t. The relationships you started for purely selfish motives. The times you cried when you thought no one was looking. The moments you doubted people who deserved your faith. The instances you thought about cutting the corner, paused and gave yourself an out, and then cut anyway.
All of it. Tacked up on Goliath’s cork board at a traveling sideshow.
What if you poured it all out for everyone knowing so many would judge and pay good money for the chance to do so?
But instead of judging, they understood?
They empathized.
They forgave.
They loved.
They set you free.
Now what if you decided you were going to be their freedom agent first?
They don’t need to bear their soul for you to understand and love. They may not be able to yet. You might not either. There’s a type of paralysis that prohibits honesty. Not because of a lack of character. Often it’s a lack of courage. We’ve been taught to conceal. We’ve learned that relief realized through honesty comes at a price that’s often steeper than we’re prepared to pay. But we need to pay it and when we do we learn it actually cost more to keep our distance.
Understand. Empathize. Forgive. Love. Free.
You can seek to fight on their behalf even before they choose to take their place at your side. They don’t even have to know what you’re up to. It helps if they are being transparent but it’s not necessary. You and I can choose to understand in spite of another’s reluctance to bare their soul. And if we start with understanding then every step that follows is closer to the truth of what our relationships are meant to be. The law of reciprocity kicks in again. By giving of yourself you often find you receive the gift you give. If you want understanding, listen. If you want empathy, feel. If you want freedom, let go.
What a beautifully vicious cycle that would be.
Photo credit : Elba
