Michael Phelps made history in the summer of 2008 when he earned an unprecedented 8 gold medals in the Beijing games. Among the things he soon became famous for was his daily diet of 12,000 calories.
The American olympian wasn’t the only guy who ate more than the average human that summer. Unfortunately for me I wasn’t swimming 50 miles per week. So when October rolled around I put down the cheeseburger and got myself a gym membership.
One football season later a friend asked me what I’d been up to. I told him I found the cheapest gym I could find, did as few exercises as possible, didn’t go out of my way to eat any better – and before I knew it I dropped 15 pounds.
(That’s all true. Except the losing weight part. Fortunately I stayed chubby just in time for a New Year’s resolution.)
At the same time I was selling print advertising for a living. One of my clients decided he wasn’t going to continue doing business with us. When I asked him why he said, “I didn’t get anything out of it.”
I hear this phrase a lot, actually. Mostly it’s in reference to someone’s dissatisfaction with some “thing” they invested in. The “thing” never carries as much weight as the attitude directed toward it, though.
The next time you’re in a coffee shop, tell the first person you see that you’re in a bind. Then ask them for a dollar. Most people won’t oblige you, but some will. Do it a few times and you’ll probably make a few bucks.
Just don’t expect to become friends with any of these people.
It’s not that you did anything illegal or wrong, really. You just can’t start a relationship by asking something of the other person. It’s backwards. Most relationships start the opposite way. With someone giving first. Like when she offered him a seat next to her on the bus.
When someone says “I didn’t get anything out of it…” it tells me they were unlikely to get anything from the start.
Among the most elementary truths in life is the fact that what you get is in direct proportion to what you give. People who forget this will write things off as things they didn’t get anything out of. People who remember this will admit there are things they just didn’t give enough to. (Yet.)
People everywhere have time, attention and money. And they’re waiting to spend it. They’ll gladly spend it with you, but not until you can help them get to a better place first . That’s what starts the relationship or the transaction. An unsolicited act of generosity and value. WIthout asking for anything in return. Simply because others benefit from it in some way.
You’ll soon find people will wait in line to “get” more of that.
It’s not the event’s fault that we didn’t get anything out of it.
Or the networking organization.
Or the marketing campaign.
Or the gym membership.
Ironically enough, the more you think this way the more you’ll eventually get.
Photo credit: Subway
