Compare the feeling of not being trusted for good reason with the feeling of being trusted for no good reason.
You are not wrong to feel hurt when someone displays a lack of trust in you. You’re not wrong but you may be squandering energy if the person withholding the trust doesn’t know you well. Have you given them enough to build their trust tensile strength? So they don’t trust you. It’s not as anticlimactic as Geraldo Rivera’s coverage of the cracking of Al Capone’s vault. Are you surprised that they don’t trust you? They don’t know you. Call Geraldo. He’ll do a 2-hour LIVE primetime special.
It wasn’t surprising to find out that the only secrets in Capone’s vault were how much dirt and how many empty bottles would be revealed on live television to a record-breaking audience of 30 million. Mystery solved. For those of us expecting riches and the undiscovered bodies of Capone’s enemies, we were surprised. Again, expectations take a lead role.
Expectations of great trust from a complete stranger aren’t usually fulfilled. But when they are you feel a little supercalafragalistic. Trust is a rug you weave and it works even better in the rug business. Ask my wife. She was shopping for an area rug for a high-traffic entrance and knew it was going to take a pounding. We still wanted something with character so she hit up a local rugger on recommendation. He had a plethora of used rugs from across the oceans. She explained to the ruggist that she needed one soon for a party. Before she could finish her thought the ruggard offered for her to take several and try them on for size. She could keep them for the party and just return them after. He even offered to let her borrow one and just return it for cleaning and restocking after instead of purchasing.
?
The umbrage we espouse when not trusted feels warranted but the thermal shock when encountering unearned trust beats scissors, paper and rock. You know you’re to be trusted. That’s why, even when you know it’s proper for them to use caution, you feel a little miffed when you have to earn the trust. But how about when, even though you know you’re as worthy of trust as the guy who gets to polish the crown jewels of the British Empire, someone places great trust in you and you question them for doing it? I couldn’t believe this ruggian would allow us to take 5 rugs home. We only took 3 but he would have given us 5. He didn’t ask for a credit card. He didn’t capture a pic of my wife’s driver’s license. He took down our address, which she told him, and never even cross referenced it. This guy was convinced she wasn’t going to hose him.
I’ve gotta believe this ruggant was banking on reciprocity. That, or he’s willing to live with his hand open knowing that even though somebody might grab and run it’s the only way he can be open to receive what others want to place there.
….and in the end, the rugs you take are equal to the rugs you make.
