Across the table sits someone you believe would make a great ______.
(Client, boyfriend/girlfriend, business partner, employee, etc)
What’s the best method to help them see you as the right choice? That’s usually what’s on our mind. Let’s make them choose us. So, you act in accordance with all the necessary protocol and posture.
Mostly you attempt to be some version of yourself that you think will be accepted. This is based on your assumption of who you think they’d like you to be. You arrive at this after the most time-honored of all research methods: guessing. You try to read their mind. You pick up on cues from observing their behavior and being in conversation with them. Then you translate these into some form that you hope will help you communicate in a way that resonates. Sometimes this works.
Most of the time it doesn’t.
There’s something to understanding personality types and tailoring your communication to them. However, who you’re communicating with is only part of the equation.
We are horridly afraid of not being accepted so we dilute ourselves to fit in and be chosen. We need to stop that. Instead, let’s carve a line and stroll along it like a high-wire. Let’s decide who we are and who we aren’t and then be every bit of only what we should.
Here’s what happens when you do:
You stop worrying about the person across the table and how they’ll receive you. Perhaps they aren’t being transparent? It doesn’t matter anymore. Let them be guarded. You don’t care because you’re no longer trying to perform a magic trick.
The more transparent you are the better. The more you know and be yourself the less guessing is required. Let them decide if you’re what they’re looking for. Control what you can control, yourself. If they choose to not choose you, great. There’s no future in being in a relationship that shouldn’t be.
If telepathy is a strategy, it’s not a very good one.
