I have never actually come face-to-brush nor have any knowledge of Tommy’s oral healthcare. I do however possess an electric toothbrush with a similar personality.

My toothbrush served a wonderful 20 month existence. It would vibrate for 2 minutes with little beeps to let you know when to move to your next quadrant of teeth. The bristles would breakdance plaque and coffee stains off of my pearly white dance floors. Resulting in teeth feeling smoother than the hallway floors of Risky Business.

All was swell until my reliable toothbrush started jumping on Oprah’s couches. It wasn’t charging properly. It will turn off at sporadic times and obnoxiously turn on at odd times. I will randomly hear the buzzing of my toothbrush as I am eating dinner, some sort of snarky reminder to go sugar-free on dessert.

It makes brushing my teeth an adventure in anticipation. I push the button many times for a few sporadic bursts lasting from a few seconds to about a minute. It got me thinking, there are a few odd toothbrushes out there.

Loose cannons, Wild Cards… Tommy Toothbrushes.

You’re not sure what they’re going to do next. They garner our attention because like the traitorous toothbrush, you just never know when they’re going to go off… or on.

The thing is, I’ve become blind to my toothbrush temper tantrums. I don’t notice the outbursts as much, I even have a new one in the mail. After awhile you learn to tune out the Tommy Toothbrushes of the world and they get replaced.