It’s my wife’s birthday. We’re sitting at the dining room table with the kids having breakfast. Scrambled eggs for myself, Meredith and William and cinnamon “bum bums” for Adeline. She likes to give things names. This is her newest name for cinnamon toast when it’s made on a roll.
A few moments ago Meredith and Adeline were in the kitchen making bum bums and William asked me if I was going to be working later today. He’s curious because it’s Mommy’s birthday and he wants us to hang out as a family. I’ve already considered this in making my schedule and have made sure that I won’t be working late today. He continues by reminding me that I’m the boss and I can do whatever I want, right? I look at him and give a little chuckle before reassuring him that I won’t be working tonight.
I don’t this time, but I’ve explained before how even though Daddy owns the company he still has people he’s accountable to. They’re called clients. They’re also called employees. I tell him about making promises and keeping your word. He sort of gets it which is pretty good for a 7-year-old. I don’t get into it this time though because I’m feeling a little worn and the day hasn’t even begun yet. A simple, “It doesn’t work that way but don’t worry, we’ll hang out, buddy” is what he gets.
It’s difficult for me when I consider his perspective and compare it to my own. Why not just drop everything and devote yourself to your family, right? Makes perfect sense to a first grader. From over here it’s convenient to assert that devotion to work or developing a business or whatever is a way of expressing your devotion to your family. And it is. Except when it’s not. The lines that you saw so clearly in the beginning often get blurred from all kinds of depravation.
This isn’t the first I’ve approached this tension in this venue and it certainly won’t be the last. Managing it seems to be the motif of my adult experience of late. Andy Stanley talks about managing tensions versus solving problems. Some “problems” can’t be solved. They’re tensions that need to be managed. From my seat in the house I’d say that’s true.
I’ll remind myself here and now that my greatest pursuits are my faith and my family.
If you ever catch me acting in opposition to those, please print this out, crumple it and throw it at my face.
(Happy birthday, Meredith.)
