I should clarify. I don’t hate going to garage sales. I only mildly dislike going. I hate putting them on. Let me explain why. But, first, let’s talk about going to garage sales.
To go to a garage sale you must walk soberly onto another’s property with the intention of looking at their garbage. This brews a low-grade anxiety two inches above and two inches behind my belly button. (This calculation does not take into account the presence of lint.) But wait, you’re not just going to look at their garbage. You might purchase some or all of it. Likely though you will not. You will, if you’re me, walk behind your wife, steadily reminding your children not to touch any of the garbage for sale. You’ll let your wife say hello to the host while you’re wondering who is really going to buy all of those slightly discolored ice cube trays. 3 minutes tops and you’re out and climbing back into the car.
Not all garage sales are replete with “garbage.” And, yes, it’s possible to find a hidden gem and land on Antiques Roadshow. But not if you’re shopping at my garage sale. I believe we’ve put one on in the past. From my seat in the stadium I’ll say it’s not worth the effort. Tally up the hours sorting, moving, sneezing, carrying, placing, pricing, sitting, sitting, sitting, sitting, haggling over items that are already priced too low and some more sitting and I’m sure it’s costing you money. I’d rather just pack it all up and donate it. The tax credit is reason enough.
But not everybody sees garage sales the way I do. I know a few ladies who consider it their spiritual gift. I love them for it though I don’t love their hobby. But that’s okay because I like plenty of things that would put you to sleep.
My neighborhood just put on a ‘multi-family’ garage sale. Gotta love the marketing built into the name. Every time I saw the sign I felt great knowing I had nothing to do with it. But there were others who felt equally great I’m sure knowing they had everything to do with it. And that’s pretty great, I think.
(For those looking to stock the shelves for their upcoming garage sale you can feel free to swing by my basement. You can keep the profits and anything that doesn’t sell you can just donate.)
