Everyone in my neighborhood waves. When passing in a car or by foot. Sometimes you’re out in the yard. Sometimes you’re driving out while they’re driving in. It’s something we noticed immediately when we moved in. What a friendly group of neighbors. We’ve since realized not everyone in our neighborhood waves. Some drive past without acknowledgement. Even when you raise your hand first. We’ve gotten to know which are the wavers and which aren’t. I noticed recently that I’ve stopped waving to those who don’t wave back. I also met one of the “non-wavers” a couple months back. What a nice guy. Quiet. Reserved. Quite pleasant, though. I guess he’s just not into waving. Even now that we know each other. (I learned that he knew exactly where I lived and who was in my family. I had thought he was just ignoring me. How’s that for assumptions?)
Of course I started thinking about why I wave. Which got me thinking about why we wave back. The Law of Reciprocity came to mind. We often (not always) do to others what they do to us. This works for smiles, doesn’t it? I’ve noticed I’m likely to get a smile back if I open with one. Even with complete strangers. Say “Hello!” to someone passing on the sidewalk. I bet you get one back. Raise your voice to your children. How do they respond to others (and each other!) when something doesn’t go the way they expected? Often yelling leads to more yelling.
So why do I wave? I should say to be neighborly, which is true. I’m also expecting a wave back. Which we learned doesn’t always arrive. So, I stop waving. Which is the opposite of what I should be doing. The wave is a symbol of acceptance, solidarity and kindness. Everyone deserves a wave. And a smile. And a kind tone. Not because they’re my neighbor. Because they’re human. And they are there.
And because I can.
They might never wave back.
Nevertheless, I can show them I’m open to them.
Maybe someday they will. Waves, like smiles, can be contagious. Someone had to have been the first person to wave in our neighborhood. Which triggered a reply. Which encouraged that person to wave to the next and so on. Not everyone waved back. But enough did to keep it moving. Now it’s my turn.
Fancy to join me?
It’s a big neighborhood you and I live in.
I could use some help.
