I’m one of the laziest people I know. Given the choice between reaching over to the coffee table for the remote to lower the television to a more reasonable volume or staying reclined and slowly going deaf, I’ll choose the latter nine times out of ten. Most people don’t think I’m lazy. Also, most people don’t know me […]

One time when I was a kid my parents thew a party on New Year’s Eve. Us kids were sent below deck to ring in 1996(?) with an old RCA television and some concrete walls we would go on to vandalize with Sharpie markers. It was fun. One of their platinum-blonde grown-up friends stumbled down the stairs […]

Ever notice how your friend who believes September 11th was an inside job is the same dude who believes the moon landing was faked and the children from Sandy Hook Elementary School are actually still alive? I can’t believe I’m about to go here. Mike Brown. Darren Wilson. Eric Garner. Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerman. Tamir Rice. In […]

  When you’re hosting a dinner party you’re going to underestimate the time needed to cook the food because you’d rather have your guests wait 15 minutes for a hot meal than serve them lukewarm food immediately upon arrival. Not all the time. But most of the time. When the weather people on TV know […]

  I still don’t have an EZ-Pass. It’s not because I don’t want one. It’s just one of those little things that I’ve never gotten around to doing. For 7 years. Now I’m wondering if I really should have admitted that to you. Because of that I always keep change in my car. And I stop for […]

I’ll tell you how it goes… You find yourself with a specific agenda. You have to sell something to someone, raise money from someone or persuade someone to take a particular action. Then you approach other people. You ask them to take some kind of action in accordance with your agenda. Some people oblige you. But […]

I would prefer not to brush my teeth every morning and every evening. Three or four minutes a day might not sound like a lot but I could come up with plenty of activities I’d rather engage in each day. Plus sometimes I’m rushing and spill toothpaste on my clothes. But still, I brush my […]

When I was seventeen I jumped off bridges in March and drove my car 100-mph but I was scared to ask girls out on dates. Yep – that water had blocks of ice floating in it. I could’ve used some of it in my veins. The most common fear isn’t death or imminent physical danger. It’s […]

  This exchange would not happen 30 years ago. I wouldn’t be writing and you wouldn’t be reading. It would have cost us too much money to print and mail these updates to hundreds of people. The Sea Log would never have existed. And we couldn’t have published Listen to Your Laundry because no publisher […]