Why I’m not a tie guy
Four ounces. That’s supposedly how much the average tie weighs in at while the average cost per is $25. That’s $6.25 an ounce. For anyone interested, you can get a jar of caviar at $5 an ounce. It’s salmon and considered “lower grade” by the people who not only choose to eat fish eggs but categorize their […]
What color is the dress?
The fact you’re reading this means you have internet access. Which also means you’ve probably seen this dress. What color is it? White and gold or blue and black? My wife first showed me this and it turns out it is white and gold (if you ask her). I on the other hand, see it […]
Not a winter guy
Two pairs of house slippers. 10 pairs of warm socks. One pair of neoprene toe warmers. One heat pad for the bottom of the bed. Six packets of hot-hands hand warmers. This sounds like the 12 days of Christmas song… for a chronologically confused cold blooded mammal. In reality, these were Christmas gifts I accumulated from four different […]
Beep… beep… beep…
I have a two car detached garage that lives about 15 yards off the back of my city home. The driveway is modeled after a fashion model… long and skinny. Driver error is limited and chances of falling off the runway are high. My wife courageously backs her old Cavalier down the driveway when she […]
Priming the pump
Recently I was invited to play basketball at a small gym in a Catholic school. I missed an easy layup and I mumbled a swear. The “crap” that exited my mouth immediately made me feel bad given my surroundings. Three days later on a Sunday I was reading about an experiment in 1996 where a team of […]
I used to be afraid of heights
I didn’t like roller coasters or anything involving substantial heights when I was younger. I hid this for the most part, avoiding theme parks as much as possible. Inevitably I would get roped into a trip to Six Flags and end up on a gut wrenching ride. I’d tell everyone afterwards “That was fun!” I […]
Is it really littering?
Ever have one of those perfect apples? They make you look like a savage when you eat one of em. I had one of these apples about a week ago. I didn’t know what I was in for as I took the first bite while driving around. Upon finishing the red fruit, I was left […]
Hidden Heroes
My heart beat quickens as I see the red and blue lights flash in the rearview. My grip tightens on the wheel and I pull over to side of the road. I’m heading home from my father’s surprise 60th birthday party. A great evening is about to turn into a horrific night. The Police SUV […]
Waves of opportunity
The Costa Rican sun floats down between the clouds. She drapes over my shoulders with a softness that could make a peach jealous. Adorned with mother nature’s boxing robe, I’m ready to fight the crashing waves before us. I smirk at my newly minted wife and we burst onto the Pacific. I awkwardly fasten myself atop a boogie board and […]
