Not a winter guy
Two pairs of house slippers. 10 pairs of warm socks. One pair of neoprene toe warmers. One heat pad for the bottom of the bed. Six packets of hot-hands hand warmers. This sounds like the 12 days of Christmas song… for a chronologically confused cold blooded mammal. In reality, these were Christmas gifts I accumulated from four different […]
Make a promise
Nobody wants to talk about New Year’s resolutions in the second week of January. You and I have already screamed past the reset button and are on to whatever is next. It may as well be July. But why is our attention to these things so short lived? I’ve never been particularly fond of resolutions. At […]
Beep… beep… beep…
I have a two car detached garage that lives about 15 yards off the back of my city home. The driveway is modeled after a fashion model… long and skinny. Driver error is limited and chances of falling off the runway are high. My wife courageously backs her old Cavalier down the driveway when she […]
The year that sounds better than it feels
One time when I was a kid my parents thew a party on New Year’s Eve. Us kids were sent below deck to ring in 1996(?) with an old RCA television and some concrete walls we would go on to vandalize with Sharpie markers. It was fun. One of their platinum-blonde grown-up friends stumbled down the stairs […]
Gifts only you can give
I didn’t enjoy Christmas last year. Not the way I hoped to. I’m afraid it’s going to happen again this year. Perhaps it’s just a matter of something seeming more beautiful in my mind than it actually can be. Perhaps I’m just a big baby. I remember the first Christmas I felt let down. I’m […]
On cops and black men and picking sides
Ever notice how your friend who believes September 11th was an inside job is the same dude who believes the moon landing was faked and the children from Sandy Hook Elementary School are actually still alive? I can’t believe I’m about to go here. Mike Brown. Darren Wilson. Eric Garner. Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerman. Tamir Rice. In […]
Do I want to know?
Narcissus was a hunter. A beautiful hunter at that. He probably wouldn’t have worn camouflage overalls or blaze orange on account of it clashing with his eyes. After being lured to a reflecting pool by Nemesis, he falls in love with his own image. Then the poor guy drowns. What a way to go. All he […]
Priming the pump
Recently I was invited to play basketball at a small gym in a Catholic school. I missed an easy layup and I mumbled a swear. The “crap” that exited my mouth immediately made me feel bad given my surroundings. Three days later on a Sunday I was reading about an experiment in 1996 where a team of […]
Snow can’t bury your soul
When you’re hosting a dinner party you’re going to underestimate the time needed to cook the food because you’d rather have your guests wait 15 minutes for a hot meal than serve them lukewarm food immediately upon arrival. Not all the time. But most of the time. When the weather people on TV know […]
